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Coffee with the Caps, Monday December 2

Back to December...

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MLS: Vancouver Whitecaps vs Real Salt Lake Steve Dykes-USA TODAY Sports

Good morning Caps fam, my apologies for the weeklong hiatus. Twas the Thanksgiving season stateside and I commemorated the occasion by visiting family in New York. Fear not, however, as I have eased back into both work life and Whitecaps world.

It is now December, though, which means we are firmly in the midst of the holiday season. And holiday seasons mean large family get-togethers, much like the one I experienced last week. Which got me to thinking, which I relaxed with a glass of bourbon aged stout Saturday night, what would a Whitecaps family gathering look like?

Just imagine. BC Place is all quiet...except for the faint sound of laughter emanating from one of the board rooms. You get closer and can hear the sounds of music playing, ice cubes clinking in glasses. You push open the doors and find, ringing in Christmas/Hanukkah/Winter Solstice...

Marc dos Santos: Your dad, telling dad jokes and making dad-like pithy comments about the gathering.

Paolo Tornaghi: The impossible handsome cousin that all the teenage girls have a secret crush on. Could double as the actor in the comically bad Hallmark Christmas movies we all hate watch this time of year.

Cristian Techera: The adult banished to the kids table, perhaps after disrobing in the middle of dinner.

Brian Rowe: Comes bearing many gifts, much like he did as a goalkeeper

David Ousted: Conversely, the Great Dane is the one who saves dinner after Brek Shea has too much Makers Mark and sets a turkey on fire.

Anthony Blondell: The uncle that everyone vaguely recognizes but can’t quite place.

Jeff Mallett: Barred entry after last year’s dinner where he said some problematic stuff and now everyone isn’t really a fan.

Alphonso Davies: The cultured global traveler who just got a promotion at his high flying corporate management firm.

Jay DeMerit: The elder statesmen, treated with reverence by all.

Ali Adnan: I have no factual basis for this statement, but I think Adnan would be a really good cook. Could get some help from his bud In-Beom.

I mean who wouldn’t want to hang out with this bunch?

Now that we’ve wiled away this Monday with some silliness, let’s get on with the links.

Shameless Self Promotion

The content machine rolled on last week, despite my absence. Sam Rowan chats with Jeff Mallett about the state of youth development at the club—a topic on everyone’s mind at the moment, as the club seems to be at a crossroads in bringing up fresh young talent. AtlantisB rolls out the second installment in his data driven look at last year’s season

Best of the Rest

Bayern’s sporting director has high praise for Phonzie Bear, as he continues to earn starts at left back

The “Will Javier Hernandez come to MLS” game is back on the menu y’all, with the striker telling the LA Times he’d “definitely” consider a move to the states

Matthew Doyle runs down the shopping list for each MLS team and the Caps need, well, basically everything

The Athletic has had a bunch of cool features to round up the last decade in MLS, including the worst signing of the last ten years—something the Caps somehow wound up not making

Nashville SC will weirdly join Vancouver in the west next season, with Inter Miami logically going to the East. One would imagine they will move back to the east once Austin joins the league next year.