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(Satire) Canadian Premier League Hires Biff Tannen as Director of Content

In a shocking turn of events the Canadian Premier League (CPL) has hired Biff Tannen from Back to the Future as their new director of content.

When asked why they hired Tannen, despite his entire career and personality, CPL executive Paul Beirne responded “well he did something vaguely related to sports didn’t he? When we at the CPL hire someone to a position the first thing we look at is if they did something vaguely related to what we’re trying to accomplish and don’t really look into it much further than that.”

Fans familiar with Tannen’s work have criticized the move as “exactly the opposite of what they should have done.”

“look...” a fan told Eighty Six Forever “Tannen is known by all familiar with him as a mean spirited, incompetent, buffoon. I mean is the league TRYING to make the wrong decisions? This is a league that’s going to struggle for relevancy outside of a small dedicated group and the man you chose to bring your message to the masses is Biff Tannen?”

When presented with these concerns Beirne said “look we’re confident that Biff can get the word about CPL out to the average Canadian. Whatever you think of him we’re sure he would never do anything stupid like fall for an obvious parody site, write an article claiming women’s soccer games are only won by emotion, whatever that means, or get banned from the MLS sub-reddit for repeatedly breaking their community rules.”

When asked for comment Biff referred to us and all who criticize him as “buttheads” and refused to engage any further. We’ll bring you more on this story as it develops.