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WFC Report Card: "D" is for D'Oh!

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Welp, Saturday night was bad you guys. I mean like really, really bad. And guess what? Yup, that's right - yours truly has to hand out some grades for the report card.

Eight days.  Three matches.  A win, a draw and a finally a loss.  Luck finally ran out for the Vancouver Whitecaps when they played the San Jose Earthquakes at Avaya Stadium on Saturday night, and it wasn't pretty.  In fact, it was just plain nasty.

This match had all the makings of a stinker from very early on, and the evening was perfectly summed up when David Ousted's head was introduced to Pa Modou Kah's knee just after the hour mark.

As bad as it was (and it was pretty dire stuff to be sure) I just couldn't go back and watch it all over again in order to assess the players to prepare this report card.  I had originally planned to submit this article soon after the match had ended, but the 1-0 final score and the straight red card shown to Pedro Morales left me with all sorts of grouchy feels, and suddenly I feared for the physical well-being of both my laptop screen and my knuckles.

I took a deep breath (or seventy), and then I calmly put the cap back on my red Sharpie, turned off my laptop and then purged the memory of this match by sitting down to watch the Chinese Grand Prix (for the record Mercedes dominated the race, but Ferrari is kinda closing the gap.  Kinda).

But I digress.

The only way I could actually watch that match again was to set up some sort of rig reminiscent of "A Clockwork Orange" and force myself to endure that thing for a second time, and I just wasn't prepared to do it.

So, let's get back to the case at hand.  The Whitecaps were brutal last Saturday night, and there are few positives to take away from this match against the 'Quakes.  Let's chalk it up to the fallout of a hectic schedule, some international call-ups, some injuries, some suspensions old and new, and maybe, just maybe, fate paid the Caps a visit that evening and decided to settle a few karmic debts.

In fairness this is a report card, so collectively I will give them a "D" (as in "D" stands for D'Oh!) and leave it at that.  I'm prepared to let Carl Robinson and the lads use this one as their "mulligan", but rest assured if it happens again I won't be as forgiving.

At least the Caps weren't the only one to have a "bad day at the office" this past weekend, and somehow they still sit atop of the Supporter's Shield and MLS Western Conference standings.  It may be a small consolation after Saturday night, but the glass is half full, right guys?  Right?

Welp, that's all I've got to say about this one.  Let's put this match behind us and never, ever speak of it again.