451 Words of Canadian National Team Optimism

Dear Canada: take a fucking chill pill.

Holy shit! Listen, I know giving up an equalizing goal at the death to a really terrible soccer team is gutting, especially when that goal costs us first place in Group A and thus almost certainly throws us against Mexico rather than Honduras. I mean, based on the team we saw against El Salvador and Cuba we have no chance against Honduras anyway, and based on the team we saw against the United States then the Mexicans are well within our reach... but never mind all of that. This is about a narrative.

I also agree that the Canadian Soccer Association is a clusterfuck, that we need a team with some fullbacks playing fullback (Matt Stinson's man scored the goal), and that everybody should be fired. But none of this is news: I don't think anybody just realized that when a Cuban got above Stinson and nodded in a slightly fluky free kick.

Were there any new sources of ghastly outrage revealed today? I didn't see any. And we still have a team that only just allowed its first goal of the tournament, that is advancing to the semi-final against some expectations, and which was really unlucky to not win that game.

Blah blah blah Canada needed to show more killer instinct blah blah. Canada also needed to not have Randy Edwini-Bonsu sent off and suspended for two games basically for no reason, and it needed to not have Babayele Sodade ruled out for the tournament with an unlucky ACL injury. It would have helped if Russell Teibert's insanely perfect free kick hadn't been barely tipped over the bar, or a few balls had bounced towards our guys' feet instead of away from them on this slippery, shitty grass surface in Nashville.

Canada's U-23 team isn't very good, but everybody knew that. The coaching was suspect, too many players were out of their natural positions, and it was going to cost us: everybody knew that too. And they deserved to win that game tonight, but they were unlucky. It happens. Swallow a Valium already.

It is almost certain Canada will play Mexico next Saturday. So be it. It is highly unlikely Canada will qualify for the Olympics. Okay. But if you told any Canadian fan before this tournament "one win, two draws, three goals for, one against, and that win was against the United States" we'd have high-fived until our hands bled.

The CSA is fucked, we need some right backs, why are there no decent professional coaches in this country, etc. etc., fine. But that's still a good bunch of kids who worked hard and are having a decent tournament. Calm the fuck down.