Whitecaps Christmas List

Yes it's almost that time of year, when a big fat guy in a red suit breaks into your house, eats all your cookies and leaves underwear and socks in return. It's Christmas time, and while many Whitecaps players will be asking for BMW's and rich people things for Christmas, here's a quick (and satirical) look at what Jolly St. Nick should be stuffing their stockings with this Christmas.

For Head Coach Martin Rennie and General Manager Bob Lendarduzzi: Davide Chiumiento with a bow on his head. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COME BACK DAVIDE.

For Barry Robson and Kenny Miller: Plane tickets back to Scotland and a "Thanks for Trying" gift basket.

For Darren Mattocks: A George Foreman grill. Or hell, go the extra mile and give the kid a personal chef, anything to keep him away from the stove.

For Camilo: Whatever he wants, as long as he promises to never do the gangam style dance again

For Gershon Koffie: A transfer to Europe (We know it can't be long now)

For YP Lee: The key to the city, the first born child of every Vancouverite; Anything he wants, just so long as 2013 isn't his last year.

For Jay Demerit: A jean jacket and a plaid shirt to perfectly complement the mullet.

For Andy O'Brien: The sincere thanks from 'Caps management, for being one of the only good mid-season acquisitions

What do you think? What are some presents that the Whitecaps should get this Christmas?

and please, nobody say a lump of coal for Mustapha Jarju.