Can You Use That in a Sentence Please?
by Russell Berrisford on Jun 20, 2011 5:53 PM PDT
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PrintThe longer we live the more we find ourselves saying sentences that we could never have imagined ourselves uttering even in the not so dimly lit past.
Why only this week I found myself exclaiming "Shit! I've forgotten to put pepper on the asparagus!" which is a combination of words that my fourteen year old self would have found to be as incomprehensible as a book of knitting patterns written in ancient Mandarin.
But we change and we grow as people, until eventually our bodies transcend into a perfect blast of white hot light which is then synthesised into the fuel which will one day be powerful enough to allow the Mothership to return to Thargon, our true home planet (I'm still working on the details of my new religion but feel free to make donations through paypal if you wish).
So; new sentences.
This weeks poll asks which of the following sentences do you think you are least likely to utter when watching the Whitecaps this season.
First though we have the business of last weeks poll to conclude which asked which of Tom Soehn's tactical changes you were most happy with. Just winning out was making Akloul a first choice central defender (which Soehn promptly abandoned against Philadelphia) but a close second was bringing in Joe Cannon to replace Jay Nolly.
Benjamin threatened to physically assault anybody who voted for moving Camilo to the left (which 7% did) so even the Munificent Emperor of Thargon can't know what he will do to those who were happy to see Russell Tiebert removed from the starting eleven.
Now answer the poll below.
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The horrible thing is that I have had cause to say four of those sentences this year.
“Hassli should have been red carded…” – you remember our first road game? I’m on the netbook so I can’t pull up the example, but at around the tenth minute one of our midfielders had knocked a ball deep into the Union half. Hassli hauled ass to try and get to the ball before the touchline but the defender was beating him there, so Hassli left his feet and hell-bent-for-leather hook-slid the ball out for a throw-in instead of a goal kick. He got every inch of that defender’s ankles, too. The referee was so flabbergasted that he didn’t even call a foul but I could see a red card there.
“Stop all this fancy one touch play and get the ball forward” – every. damned. time. we’re down a goal late in a half and the guys are futzing around with it along the wings instead of, I don’t know, doing something. Shea Salinas is a master of provoking this reaction in me.
“You know, I actually prefer a game that’s played on turf…” – it’s called “home field advantage”, baby. Philadelphia got pretty fucked up by it on Saturday.
“Wow, this food is rather good, and so reasonably priced too.” – When I go to the press box, the food is free. One time we had lasagna. By the way, if you want to punch me in the face now I totally understand.
Manager at Vancouver Whitecaps and western Canadian soccer website Eighty Six Forever and infrequently-posting flunky at Edmonton Oilers blog The Copper & Blue.
by Benjamin Massey on Jun 21, 2011 2:20 PM PDT reply actions
And, regarding the first sentence: I’ve been trying to convince fans for months that Camilo can stay on his feet. He has a low centre of gravity and extremely good balance. When he really wants a ball, I’ve seen him go up against guys like Ante Jazic and stand up to the worst they can throw at him just because he’s so steady on his feet. He errs towards flopping which is why that’s the sentence I’m least likely to say. But people who say “he’s small, of course he goes over!” are missing the plot.
Manager at Vancouver Whitecaps and western Canadian soccer website Eighty Six Forever and infrequently-posting flunky at Edmonton Oilers blog The Copper & Blue.
by Benjamin Massey on Jun 21, 2011 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions
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